How Staying Apart Will Keep You Together

For the entirety of my dating career, I have run into the same issue over and over again; I would meet a great guy, become completely smitten with him, spend every second I could in his arms...and then become sick of him and/or dump him in under six months. For years I thought something was wrong with me because I couldn't stay in a long-term, committed relationship without feeling like gnawing off the hand my man was holding (though I often did stay in said relationships out of guilt, creating a miserable situation for both parties involved). I became a serial dater of the worst kind and as a result, lost a lot of important guys in my life and acquired nicknames including, but not limited to, succubus, Jezebel, Eve, siren, hussy, harlot, man-eater and, of course, the usual bitch, slut and whore.
After releasing the most recent of my victims, I made myself a promise to not even go near the idea of a monogamous relationship for a good while. I became a self-proclaimed swinger, giving myself the right to have no-strings attached hook-ups with any guy I pleased, and to casually date as many different types of men as possible.
The first of my hook-ups was a guy who had become a friendly acquaintance at school, and someone whom I knew wanted me; Kyle. He was an odd duck, but an extremely good-looking, intelligent, and polite odd duck, so I gave it a shot and found him to be quite the man-candy. Aside from hooking up, I just plain liked spending time with Kyle as a person. While I did stick to my promise and dated other guys, Kyle was probably always the favorite. Knowing I wanted to be a free woman, Kyle respected that, but after several months it became clear that we were pretty smitten with each other. Of course, I knew this meant it was all downhill from there.
Much to my surprise, it wasn't. We didn't really start hanging out more, which at first I was a little upset about. However, I found that instead of losing interest in him, my interest grew. Every time I saw him I was happy and excited, and what was more, I still actually wanted to have sex with him. I was absolutely perplexed by the situation until one night when I stayed in to have a "me" night. As I lied in bed writing, my mind drifted off across all of my past relationships and I finally realized what was different. For the first time in a relationship, I was allowed to have a "me" night. I could also still hang out with my friends almost every night. The reason I wasn't getting sick of Kyle is because he gave me the space and time to be Caitlin.
We never see each other more than two or three times a week, which can get a little tough, but for the most part, it just makes me more excited for the days when I do get to see him. I can't say for certain that I will never get sick of him, but I can say that this is hands down the happiest I have ever been with another person because I still get the chance to be my own person.

I think that when relationships first start out, a lot of people tend to binge on all the happy,romantic things they are feeling and ignore the fact that they are still two separate people. They do everything together, and end up sacrificing many of the people and things in their lives which made them happy as an individual, eventually leading to feelings of suffocation and resentment. This can especially apply to people who are living together and sharing one bedroom. Having to sleep in the same bed every night can become monotonous and even irritating depending on the other person's sleeping habits. So why not have two separate rooms and have "sleepovers" a couple of times a week? Just as every person is different, so is every relationship and what may work for the "Leave it to Beaver", All-American, perfect couple, may not work for you. So even if a married couple sleeping in separate beds seems weird, it could be what makes all the difference.
I used to always think that if I didn't want to spend all or most of my time with my significant other, there was something wrong with me, because it wasn't what I saw in the movies or the media. But, the truth is, as much as we may love another person, one of the most important ways to a happy relationship is to have time and space for ourselves, so we can keep being the people our significant others fell for in the first place.